A little after seven this morning, Mark took his last breath. As I’m sitting her looking at his body, I keep expecting his chest to move. Expecting him to take another breath. He looks like he’s sleeping and his body is still warm. It is lightly snowing outside and the scenery beyond his hospice room is still beautiful.
We decided to play music for him this morning, just as we were last night. We thought he wouldn’t want us sitting here in silence. He loved music and he was a very talented musician. I will always remember when he was learning to play Joan Osborne’s “What if God Was One of Us” on his electric guitar. I could hear it all the way from the street when I was getting home from school. I thought it was pretty cool that my step-dad was so good at the electric guitar.
I know it mind sound crazy to say, given the fact that I have been so close to Mark and this situation for the last nine days, but it still doesn’t quite seem real to me. I don’t know if I’ve fully grasped the fact that I will never see him again (in this life, anyway). I will never hear his voice again. I will never hear him call me “Emmy Booskie” again.
I wasn’t here when he took his last breath. I really wanted to be, but I left to get some sleep and didn’t make it back in time. Somehow, I think Mark might have wanted it that way. He spent the entire six years of his disease protecting me, why would he stop now?
Even though I know my words could never even come close to explaining what a wonderful human being Mark was, and how lucky we all were to know him, I find comfort in the fact that I have done my best with this blog. People who never knew Mark feel like they got a glimpse into his life through this blog, and I am extremely proud of that.
I used to read Mark the comments people left him on the blog and I know he read them on his own, too. I don’t think Mark realized what an inspiration he really was until he kept hearing people say it and reading their comments on the blog. He was so focused on the fight and staying alive for my mom and his family, that he never realized the impact he was having on other people along the way. I’m sure that could be said of his entire life. He touched people every day and probably never knew the true impact he had on this world.
Although Mark’s journey on this Earth ends today, I believe, and I know he believes, too, his journey isn’t over. There will be no blog to document the happiness and peace he just found but we can all use our faith and imagination to picture his new life.
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10 comments:
Our prayers and sympathy go out to you, Martha, and your family. You've done such a wonderful job with this journal blog. Please let us know when and where funeral is as some don't get the news journal.
I was one of those who never had the pleasure of meeting Mark, but I felt like I knew him through you and your words. I am so sad for you, your Mom and the rest of your family, but like you, believe your step-dad is in a happy, warm, safe, pain-free place...watching over you. God Bless you, Emily.
Thank you so much for your journal blog. My prayers to all who love Mark...I know you all took such good care of him, and love him...Blessings
I know I speak for many in saying that he is one guy that will be missed. He made others want to be better. It is a somber day in the WMFD Newsroom this morning.
God Bless you, Mark, in your journey to a better place...you rightfully deserve peace. Prayers to all.
Respectfully,
Chelley Kemper
Please know that even though we never met Mark, he was an inspiration, and must have been a wonderful person to have raised such beautiful girls as you and Elizabeth. He lived in your spirits, confidence and joy. Sending hugs to you and your family. You did a wonderful job!!
Thank you for sharing this very private time with us and allowing us to be a part of this grieving process. I write with tears in my eyes because I have been where you are and I know how you feel, as well as the fact that I am so saddened that I will not see Mark again in this life. May the knowledge that you did everything you knew how to do comfort you. You used what is obviously a wonderful gift of writing to pour out your own pain while doing us all a service by keeping us updated. I know this was a great comfort and help to both Mark and Martha. It does seem sad that Mark lost the control he had over his body; but in the long run, maybe that was the only way he would consent to leave you all and move on to his peace. One thing I believe without a doubt is that Mark no longer is in pain. May the time soon come that you and Martha and the rest of your family can say the same thing. My prayers for you is that all of you will experience the Peace that surpasses all understanding. Be good to yourselves and each other.
Love,
Betty Cyrus
I knew Mark as a child growing up, while in school and living 2 streets away from where we both called home. I would see Mark from time to time on the city streets and would stop and chat a bit. The last time I seen Mark was at our class reunion.
There is no truer statement than the second to the last paragraph in this blog.
Mark truly was a wonderfully gifted man in mind, body and spirit. He had an impact on my life that was priceless.
You had a Personality and Smile that was contagious my Friend. I am honored to have know you....
RIP Young Man....
Paula (Amert) Rhodes
I always felt this special kinship with Mark that he probably never even knew about, because we coincidentally both met the women who became the Love Of Our Lives around the exact same time, when both he and I were working at WMFD. I am both happy for him, in that love that sustained him through his life, and greatly saddened at how his brave battle, though noble, has ended. My heart goes out to all of you.
I'm looking at this a little differently. True, it was a sad moment when Mark left this world for a better one, but we should all be celebrating his life today. Celebrating the fact that he beat all odds and kept plugging away years after doctors told him he wouldn't survive. Celebrating the fact that he was able to bless us all with his time and talents just a little bit longer. I've enjoyed reading this blog as much as everyone else, and I must say you did a wonderful job with it. I'm sure it also gave you some personal peace when you wrote in it day by day. It gave the rest of us some wonderful insight into what was happening through it all. Please know that "Marky Mark" had many friends in the WMFD/WVNO family who will always remember him fondly.
I am so sorry for your loss. I, Nikki, and Jennie really understand deeply what you have gone through and how unreal it seems at times. It is also a relief that our guys are no longer suffering. Jim was unable to speak naturally for a year and a half before he died. And we, too, hold on to seeing our guy in heaven. Mark, as Jim does, will watch over you from heaven. I will keep all of you in my prayers for strength and comfort.
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